DREAMS OF A LOST MOONCHILD

First off, you can watch this video to get up to speed with what I have a problem with.

I hate using a word as ‘privilege blind’ – but that is seriously the only thing I think when watching those who argue against white families adopting black children.

So first off, I want to get this out of the way, to claim you are color blind is just fucking stupid. none of us are! But at the end of the day, we are all just people. And we should not lose sight of that.

I am not going to analyse the video, that is not why I am making this entry. But I think that you should go check out RuinedLeon’s videos.

What I want to do with this entry is to say:

You all know that I grew up in foster care, I was so lucky (family issues aside) that my dad’s parents could take me in. My siblings were not as lucky, also they have different fathers. I was 8 months old when I came to live with my grandparents, so I don’t recall any of all that drama.

But you know what? I grew up in a ‘normal’ household, and didn’t stay at institutions until I was 15. It gave me something many foster kids don’t have. And this angry lady who lashes out at the white family adopting black kids – she is just about the most privileged fuckwit I ever heard.

I am dead sure she grew up with her family.

What kids need is love, they need someone to invest in them even if it’s temporary – we store all those rolemodels in our memory. It is what resilience is made of. So what I hear is this lady saying she’d rather have these kids traumatized by the foster system, than staying in a loving family because that family happens to have a different skin color.

Does it matter? NO!

It takes something from you to be rejected by your parents, even if you don’t remember it (like me). You are aware of the fact. And it takes a whole lot of love and patience to change that narrative that you are not worth it. I didn’t exactly get that, but I know that there are many, many great foster parents out there who is ready to put in the work.

I don’t doubt my grandparents loved me, but it wasn’t unconditional to any extend. I struggle with depression and self image to this day, and probably always will. My foster parents did not let me grow strong roots, because I was never ‘accepted’ for me. They loved me when I was good, and blamed me when I failed.

In other words, all I learned was that they were disappointed that I wasn’t what they wanted me to be, but no one ever told me what it was they wanted, and to this day I don’t know what the fuck it was they wanted from me. But it was painfully obvious that it wasn’t was I was.

I grew up in the 80ies and a lot of things were different back then, including how children are understood as little complicated people. But when I was a kid, none of the diagnosis I have existed, and so I was a ‘problem child’, and the problem was me, I had to get my fucking ducks in a row – but no one cared to explain why, or how. I just had a bunch of adults being angry and frustrated, and I only understood that I was the problem. They did send me to a ‘reeducation’ institution, because remember; the problem was me.

And only thing that did was to solidify that something was wrong with me, I was all wrong and I hurt everyone around me.

Today I know what I didn’t then. I know it wasn’t my fault, I wasn’t lazy and I wasn’t rude, spoiled or bratty.

My story sadly isn’t unique, but I know that when your parents aren’t adult enough to parent – you are lucky to be taken in by someone else, you are lucky that someone else is willing to love you and care for you. That goes for me, and that goes for the kids in the video.

And as the scandinavian trash I am, I honestly don’t understand that american thing with ‘black culture’, dude… it’s all just american culture to me, because that whole ‘white / black’ culture thing is uniquely american, and at the end of the day, you are all just americans. And as I said before I won’t go into the politics of this, because I am well aware of systemic oppression, that is NOT uniquely american – sadly.

But somehow this comes off to me as the opposite of ‘when in Rome’ – because none of us are born with a culture, it’s something we learn, and in some way you can say that culture is imposed on us all. But it is not genetic. And with that said, all the problems the black community in the US is facing isn’t ‘just’ a skin color thing, it’s also a socioeconomic issue. Poor people always found themselves at the bottom of the totem pole. So with that said, these kids will grow up in a home with money, and hopefully love – which will give them access to good education, and to grow up with possibilities they would probably not have had otherwise.

I can’t for the death of me understand the people who die on that hill, insisting to make the divide deeper and wider. It makes me think of the saying “When you have more than you need, build a bigger table, not a bigger wall” – it’s a weird artificial conflict… I mean I get that the black community in the US have a terrible history, but so does the native americans, the aborigines, the inuits – and so forth…

Don’t you think it’s about time to let that shit go?

It’s like blaming present time Germany for Hitler.

A term like ‘white guilt’ is like the peak argument for people like that, but thing is; I don’t feel fucking guilty for some shit some other people did, also those people are long dead.

Come on man… The world need more people like that other woman in the video, the foster mother. She has my utmost respect.